the unnecessary high-five

i realize it's been a while since anyone posted and im sorry about that, but both of us have been pretty busy. initially, i was at home watching csi and now im at school watching csi. our dear friend meet has been tied up doing his calc II homework and learning how to say "interesting. interesting and fun. no, not very fun, just fun" in spanish. so now know you understand what useful things have prevented us from updating this beacon of journalistic achievement. also, i apologize for meet's pokemon post. no, i didn't read all of it either. i love you, meet!

and now on to something way (omg) more important. the unnecessary high-five.

the high-five, now just a common expression of joy, congratulations, or nothing, has been traced back to ancient times in india (just like algebra, geometry, physics, the wheel, kinetics, and, of course, the zero, or 0). the sages used to high-five in the mornings before their morning meditations because it would focus their energies to their hands, which explains why when one meditates they make the circular shape with their pointer and thumb, as not illustrated anywhere in this post. anyway, this focusing of energies left the sages elated and euphoric. soon, the sages would high-five at kabadhi matches when their team won, and from there evolved the modern high-five. note: kabadhi is a game like red rover, but it involves fat uncles at hindi camp jumping around more can be good for their hearts.

from that time when the sages high-fived at the kabadhi finals of -3000 (no b.c, d.c, a.d, bay-d bullshit here, bitches!) the high-five became a symbol of victory. roman generals were required to send high-five messengers back to caesar upon defeat of farmers, and winston churchhill reportedly high-fived 007 when the second great war finally ended. as per it's original evolution, the high-five also retained its importance in sporting matches, from the us' olympic defeat of russia during the cold war (that previous statement is laced with subcutaneous meaning and, yeah, im proud of it), to anytime that the celtics manage to win, and many hundreds of thousands of events before and after both, the high-five remains an important part of sporting culture.

which, in a round-about, convoluted manner, brings me to the unnecessary high-five (uh-f). now, im not going to deride the uh-f without first admitting that i do, indeed, partake in uh-f-ing sometimes. for me, it's a way to get out of awkward situations. walking by someone i don't want to talk to on the way to class? throw up the hand and make an awkward noise, therefore forcing the person to react to the hand and noise and, at the same time, precluding any chance of talking. don't worry, i've never done this to any of you. promise.

the un-h also exists in academic situations. for example, when one gets a question right on homework or in class and their class mate throws up a quarter-deuce. what's the point of celebrating a right answer to a question that countless people all over the world have already answered. that's right, there's not point. don't do it. my space bar is squeaking.

there is also the inclassifiable un-h, such as when i walked into my apartment the other day, and kat just threw up five (there's your shoutout, now where are my cupcakes). we weren't in class, so i wasn't being congratulated, and she proceeded to talk to me, so she wasn't avoiding conversation. i was confused and, after recovering from my initial shock, i told her that i would have to blog about it.

so there you have it, my reason for writing this crap.

and im sorry, i shoulda writ it two days ago.