What It Do? How to Greet Properly

Before I begin this intense and important discussion about greeting someone properly, I would like to clear up some confusion. Number 1: Pokemon rule. Number 2: If any of you believed what you read in my pokemon post, you are a retards. Number 3: I purposely pluralized retards. Number 4: I know pluralized is not a word, but you still understood it. Number 5: I do not do research, I make up most of my facts...not that they are unreliable.

Ok...now onto more important material.

After reading Shyam's previous post about the "uh-f", I realized that Shyam's confusion during the Kat situation may have come from his inadequate knowledge about greeting someone. As an expert on saying hello to people, I feel that it is my responsibility to educate the public about the proper way to do so.

Many believe that a simple "Hello, how are you?" is a proper greeting. This is a common mistake. In fact, greeting someone like that is like saying "I hate you stupid c***-kissing biatch and I hope you die and then burn in hell and here is some hooker spit full of aids in your mouth you big sh**." (I know...I bet you didn't even know you were saying such horrible things. Lucky for you, I'm here to help you.)

The appropriate way to greet someone is with a simple phrase that really says what you mean, such as "What it do?" It's nice, simple, and straight to the point. Furthermore, it shows someone that you really care about them. In a world full of evil, it is nice to have someone that cares about you.

In fact, when using this greeting in the business world, like in a job interview, it shows that you are confident, strong, and smarter than your counterparts. You are showing your dominance in the encounter and will probably receive a promotion.

Using this greeting in the social world is also advantageous. Women and men alike will be instantly turned on and I can guarantee that you will get laid.

These simple phrases are not difficult to come up with. Just follow the following formula and you will be greeting people properly in no time:

(Question Word) it (conjugation of the verb "to be" or "to do")?

Here are some examples:

How it am?
Where it is?
What it done?
Who it are?
Why it did?

Now before I let you off into the world, I'd like to give you a little background on this type of greeting so that you may better understand it. The better you understand it, the better you will use it.

A common misconception is that people from Houston, Texas invented the phrase "What it do?". It is true that it is used as a greeting in Houston, but its origins date back to the time of Atilla the Hun.

When Atilla the Hun and his armies arrived in Hawaii in 12749 B.C., they had already conquered most of the world and at least 22% of Mars. Throughout his conquests, Atilla had learned the language of every one of his conquered territories. He was under the impression that he had already learned every language known to man and martian. In fact, since Hawaiians are American and Americans speak English, he expected to be able to communicate with the Hawaiians.

As he set foot on the shores of Honolulu, he pulled out his sword and screamed in an attempt to scare the Hawaiians. The Hawaiians were a peaceful people and had never seen a sword before. They looked at the sword and asked Atilla, "What it do?" (You see, the Hawaiians had never had a formal English class, so they spoke improper English.) Atilla thought that the Hawaiians were saying hello and from then on, he used "What it do?" as a greeting. The end.

P.S. This is probably my worst post ever, but I wrote it, so I'll publish it.