Tuesday, September 11, 2007

texting vs. using an owl.

holy shit, it's been a long time since either meet or myself has posted anything. (i gave significant thought as to whether i would swear in the opening line of my post, but then thought to myself, "it's my blog, ill cry if i want to. and i sure as shit will swear if i want to also." but then it occured to me that my readers might think me philistine and unable to express myself properly if i resorted to such unnecessary swearing. by this point, however, i didn't really care any more. close parenthesis.) for those two of you who read this and care: i really did mean to post over the summer. i had alot of great ideas, the kind of great ideas one would usually associate with an idle mind. my mind, however, was not idle, so these idle thoughts confused me and, being unable to find the time to un-confuse myself, i wrote nothing.

now that school has started, however, and i have school work in addition to my lab work, i find that i am suddenly motivated to watch as my mind spills out about unnecessary, yet absolutely vital, topics.

fresh off the heels of this summer's hottest book is my first such discussion: what's better? sending text messages or using an owl.


in our world, text messaging has fast become the fastest and, arguably, most efficient way to contact people. in the magical world, which, incidentally, i am also part of, the weapon of choice is the owl. both have their merits, both have their faults. let us inspect.

the text message is instant. i send to you. you receive. you laugh. you respond. without anyone's knowledge, we planned dinner on friday. ill see you there. of course, this speed of use depends on the speed of the texter and textee, and if both parties have their phones on and on them.

the owl is somewhat different. i find parchment and quill. i write. i attach note to owl's leg. i talk to owl. i feel owl. i pet owl affectionately, reassuring her that she is, indeed, the only owl for me and that i only used pigwidgeon so i didnt attract too much attention. owl flies. owl does or does not stop for rest. owl finds you. you feed owl. you take note. you find your own parchment and quill. i need not continue. as you can clearly see, the owl is much slower than the text message. however, the owl isnt plaugued by the problems of the text message. no matter where you are, and whether your cell phone is on or not, the message will get to you.

i really need to get back to my work, so that about sums up my arguments for both sides even though i actually had more to say. i wasted words and time on the intro. sorry.

in the end, id say text messaging wins because try getting an owl to send a message. it's not as easy as you think. i know.

Friday, May 25, 2007

What It Do? How to Greet Properly

Before I begin this intense and important discussion about greeting someone properly, I would like to clear up some confusion. Number 1: Pokemon rule. Number 2: If any of you believed what you read in my pokemon post, you are a retards. Number 3: I purposely pluralized retards. Number 4: I know pluralized is not a word, but you still understood it. Number 5: I do not do research, I make up most of my facts...not that they are unreliable.

Ok...now onto more important material.

After reading Shyam's previous post about the "uh-f", I realized that Shyam's confusion during the Kat situation may have come from his inadequate knowledge about greeting someone. As an expert on saying hello to people, I feel that it is my responsibility to educate the public about the proper way to do so.

Many believe that a simple "Hello, how are you?" is a proper greeting. This is a common mistake. In fact, greeting someone like that is like saying "I hate you stupid c***-kissing biatch and I hope you die and then burn in hell and here is some hooker spit full of aids in your mouth you big sh**." (I know...I bet you didn't even know you were saying such horrible things. Lucky for you, I'm here to help you.)

The appropriate way to greet someone is with a simple phrase that really says what you mean, such as "What it do?" It's nice, simple, and straight to the point. Furthermore, it shows someone that you really care about them. In a world full of evil, it is nice to have someone that cares about you.

In fact, when using this greeting in the business world, like in a job interview, it shows that you are confident, strong, and smarter than your counterparts. You are showing your dominance in the encounter and will probably receive a promotion.

Using this greeting in the social world is also advantageous. Women and men alike will be instantly turned on and I can guarantee that you will get laid.

These simple phrases are not difficult to come up with. Just follow the following formula and you will be greeting people properly in no time:

(Question Word) it (conjugation of the verb "to be" or "to do")?

Here are some examples:

How it am?
Where it is?
What it done?
Who it are?
Why it did?

Now before I let you off into the world, I'd like to give you a little background on this type of greeting so that you may better understand it. The better you understand it, the better you will use it.

A common misconception is that people from Houston, Texas invented the phrase "What it do?". It is true that it is used as a greeting in Houston, but its origins date back to the time of Atilla the Hun.

When Atilla the Hun and his armies arrived in Hawaii in 12749 B.C., they had already conquered most of the world and at least 22% of Mars. Throughout his conquests, Atilla had learned the language of every one of his conquered territories. He was under the impression that he had already learned every language known to man and martian. In fact, since Hawaiians are American and Americans speak English, he expected to be able to communicate with the Hawaiians.

As he set foot on the shores of Honolulu, he pulled out his sword and screamed in an attempt to scare the Hawaiians. The Hawaiians were a peaceful people and had never seen a sword before. They looked at the sword and asked Atilla, "What it do?" (You see, the Hawaiians had never had a formal English class, so they spoke improper English.) Atilla thought that the Hawaiians were saying hello and from then on, he used "What it do?" as a greeting. The end.

P.S. This is probably my worst post ever, but I wrote it, so I'll publish it.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

the unnecessary high-five

i realize it's been a while since anyone posted and im sorry about that, but both of us have been pretty busy. initially, i was at home watching csi and now im at school watching csi. our dear friend meet has been tied up doing his calc II homework and learning how to say "interesting. interesting and fun. no, not very fun, just fun" in spanish. so now know you understand what useful things have prevented us from updating this beacon of journalistic achievement. also, i apologize for meet's pokemon post. no, i didn't read all of it either. i love you, meet!

and now on to something way (omg) more important. the unnecessary high-five.

the high-five, now just a common expression of joy, congratulations, or nothing, has been traced back to ancient times in india (just like algebra, geometry, physics, the wheel, kinetics, and, of course, the zero, or 0). the sages used to high-five in the mornings before their morning meditations because it would focus their energies to their hands, which explains why when one meditates they make the circular shape with their pointer and thumb, as not illustrated anywhere in this post. anyway, this focusing of energies left the sages elated and euphoric. soon, the sages would high-five at kabadhi matches when their team won, and from there evolved the modern high-five. note: kabadhi is a game like red rover, but it involves fat uncles at hindi camp jumping around more can be good for their hearts.

from that time when the sages high-fived at the kabadhi finals of -3000 (no b.c, d.c, a.d, bay-d bullshit here, bitches!) the high-five became a symbol of victory. roman generals were required to send high-five messengers back to caesar upon defeat of farmers, and winston churchhill reportedly high-fived 007 when the second great war finally ended. as per it's original evolution, the high-five also retained its importance in sporting matches, from the us' olympic defeat of russia during the cold war (that previous statement is laced with subcutaneous meaning and, yeah, im proud of it), to anytime that the celtics manage to win, and many hundreds of thousands of events before and after both, the high-five remains an important part of sporting culture.

which, in a round-about, convoluted manner, brings me to the unnecessary high-five (uh-f). now, im not going to deride the uh-f without first admitting that i do, indeed, partake in uh-f-ing sometimes. for me, it's a way to get out of awkward situations. walking by someone i don't want to talk to on the way to class? throw up the hand and make an awkward noise, therefore forcing the person to react to the hand and noise and, at the same time, precluding any chance of talking. don't worry, i've never done this to any of you. promise.

the un-h also exists in academic situations. for example, when one gets a question right on homework or in class and their class mate throws up a quarter-deuce. what's the point of celebrating a right answer to a question that countless people all over the world have already answered. that's right, there's not point. don't do it. my space bar is squeaking.

there is also the inclassifiable un-h, such as when i walked into my apartment the other day, and kat just threw up five (there's your shoutout, now where are my cupcakes). we weren't in class, so i wasn't being congratulated, and she proceeded to talk to me, so she wasn't avoiding conversation. i was confused and, after recovering from my initial shock, i told her that i would have to blog about it.

so there you have it, my reason for writing this crap.

and im sorry, i shoulda writ it two days ago.

Friday, May 11, 2007

Ludicolo vs. Wynaut

I know that there has been much debate recently over whether or not Ludicolo would beat Wynaut in a pokebattle. I am here to settle this debate through an unbiased, objective analysis of this situation.

First of all, here is a picture of both pokemon (I know that they are scary looking.):

I'd like to begin with just some basic information about these two pokemonsters!

Ludicolo is a grass type pokemon. They can derive much energy from cheerful and upbeat music, usually that of Chingy or Yellowcard. In fact, a whole peck of Ludicolo were once seen outside of a Lil' John concert, dancing rhythmically and completely with the beat. Later, when confronted by a group of high white kids, they did not even flinch. This is commonplace among Ludicolo, who do not back down when fighting larger, more powerful foes.

Wynaut, on the other hand, is a psychic type pokemon. They are mischievous, friendly creatures that always have smiles on thier faces, no matter what their actual mood is. Many scientists believe that this permanent smile is due to the fact that their cheek muscles secrete botox. Do not let the smile fool you though. They are fierce when placed in the pokemon battle ring. Also, according to Wikipedia: " When Wynaut gather, they rub against each other to practice fighting techniques." Some also suspect that this rubbing is due to the intense libido that Wynaut possess.

Although this basic information tells us a lot about the pokemon themselves, it does not really tell us about how they will perform against each other. I would like to outline what I believe to be a typical battle between a Ludicolo and a Wynaut.

It is a common fact that psychic pokemon can read the minds of other pokemon. This would lead one to believe that the pokemon would have an advantage over its opponent; it would know which attack its opponent is using next. While this is true, most don't realize that pokemon have very long and thin neurons. Even though they know what attack is coming, it takes so long to process that they realize which attack is coming after the attack has already come. Wynaut, unaware of its own anatomy, will probably begin the fight with its "mind read" attack.

Furthermore, grass pokemon, like Ludicolo, can grow marijuana in their minds. When Wynaut tries to read Ludicolo's mind, the marijuana will be transmitted along with Ludicolo's thoughts and Wynaut will get high. This is called the "secondary smoke effect". This growth of marijuana will also effect Ludicolo. After this exchange has happened, we will be left with two high pokemon in the ring.

Following this exchange, I would expect Wynaut to attach with its patented "mind game" attack. In this attack, Wynaut will actually make Ludicolo think that it has turned into a water pokemon. No one wants to be a water pokemon. Ludicolo will begin to attack itself due to the shame that comes with being a water pokemon.

Unfortunately for Wynaut, grass attacks against a grass pokemon result in making the pokemon stronger. Ludicolo will actually grow in strength and size. Once the "mind game" attack wears off, Ludicolo will be extremely strong and powerful. By this time, the marijuana will have triggered the "munchies" in Wynaut. He will probably use his "i'm going to eat you" attack and eat Wynaut.

So after long and considerable thought, I have decided that Ludicolo would win in a battle against Wynaut. I know that many of you will disagree with my assessment, but I have just presented the facts. They are indisputable because I made most of them up. Made up things cannot be disputed. That is what makes them indisputable. I am an expert on pokemon. Some may call me a "Poke"-master (That title has nothing to do with pokemon.) I know what I am talking about so...that is all.



Thursday, May 10, 2007

meet's douchebaggery

for some reason, meet decided to make up numbers and put our visitor count at 12. im not sure where he found the counter, but i sure as shit didnt add it to our site.

we actually do have a counter on the side, but its hidden and its made by (surprise!) google. let me take a minute here to declare my whoreship for google. it's not my fault that they make so many infinitely useful and delicately thoughtful products. i just cant help myself.

anyway, the counter's called google analytics, and its much more than just a counter. i thought id take some time out of my busy schedule here at home to share with you, my dear listeners (or readers, whatever. i like to think people can hear my sweet voice when they're reading) some interesting facts about our site.

as of this posting, we have had 86, not 12, visits from 43 unique people. im not sure what the rest of the stats mean (besides time on site), and i realize i could have clicked the links to find out, but ill let you try that.



















the next sweet stat it can check is location. the europe and asia visitors apparently stayed for 0:00 (time). i hope meets douchebaggery didnt offend them that quickly. hah.






its small.

im getting bored writing this, and im sure youre getting bored reading it, so im just going to put up the last picture i have and ask this question: who still uses dialup?













chea.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

things to say

i have lots of things to say, and will do so after exams are done.

things to look for:

  • meet's douchebaggery
  • the unnecessary high-five
  • general, intelligent opinions about things
gnight

Our Blog Reaches 12 People Nationwide

It has recently come to my attention that our blog has a counter. When asked to see the stats on our website, I found that at least 12 people have visited our site! This is a momentous occasion for us, well at least for me, and I would like to take a moment to thank all of you 12 readers for your support.

First of all, let's take a look at the counter:



It brings a tear to my eye.

Next, I just wanted give you the reactions of some of our staff here at "shoulda got it two days ago".

I asked Shyam, one of our senior writers, how he felt about this noteworthy occasion, he responded kindly with:

"Meet, you are a douchebag."

He always knows what to say. It's always something that you'll remember for the rest of your life.

I asked myself how I felt and this is the response I gave myself:

"When we started this little endeavor, we had a dream. A dream that we could reach at least one person with our insightful, and somewhat witty, discussions about life. Well it seems that we have reached and surpassed that goal. In fact, we have exceeded our target by 1200%. That is no easy feat. Just ask Google. Their mission statement is: 'Organize the world's information and make it universally accessible and useful.' They have yet to meet this simple task. If we were Google, we would have organized the information of 12 worlds by now. You see..."shoulda got it two days ago" is an efficient and hardworking bunch.
I just want to say thank you to all of our 12 readers and let them know that I...sorry WE...could not have done this without you. I would also like to thank all of the writers here at "should got it two days ago". You guys are the ones who write and without you, we would have nothing to read."

So with that quote, I 'd like to leave you all with some wise words. A friend of mine says them when he is about to leave. I feel that they really do capture the essence of what we are trying to do here at "shoulda got it two days ago":

"Alright...Good Night...Kiss my buttocks."

Thursday, May 3, 2007

Blue Jays for VT

Make this picture your facebook picture:

Education for All

A friend of mine asked me to post this. It's a good cause. READ IT!

Every morning 77 million children don't go to school, and not because they don't want to. 77 million children go without school because neither their families nor their governments have the resources to provide them with a basic education. Without education, these children are trapped in a vicious cycle of poverty, hunger, and AIDS.
Confronting this global challenge requires leadership and courage to take the bold action necessary to confront this crisis. Yesterday four of those leaders, Representatives Nita Lowey (D-NY) and Spencer Bachus (R-AL), Senators Hillary Clinton (D-NY) and Gordon Smith (R-OR) have stepped up and introduced the Education for All Act to give tens of millions of children the education that will lift them out of poverty.
Now, as the bill is introduced, we must convince other Members of Congress to demonstrate the same courage and sign-on to this important piece of legislation.
Write a letter to your member of Congress asking them to co-sponsor the Education for All Act.
Education is a tool to transform the world, one student at a time. Education raises incomes, reduces infant mortality, slows the spread of HIV-AIDS, and saves lives. This is an investment that pays rich dividends.
The Education for All Act tackles the issues impeding access to education, from improving facilities and training teachers to eliminating school fees. This bill empowers developing countries to create and implement plans to put every child in school.
Will you write a letter to your member of Congress asking them to support the Education for All Act?
If anyone can make a difference on this issue, it's you. In the last week 108,044 people have joined ONE, making our collective voice ever louder. Now let's make ourselves be heard.

Thursday, April 12, 2007

haha, hehe.

recently, there has been much discussion in the highest of academic circles about the proper application of laugh during online conversation. and by "highest of academic circles," im actually referring to useless conversations about a useless passtime. i digress.

a few weeks ago, my sister had a phase during which she would only laugh "hehe" online. when asked why, she responded by saying, "im bringing 'hehe' back." like justin timberlake, i assume, but instead of sexy, she was bringing hehe. a worthwhile endeavor, some might conclude. i, however, was not happy about this particular bringing.

as long as i have been on aim, and i was on aim long before i had any friends, "haha" has been the most widely accepted method of laughter. somewhere in the middle, somebody introduced lol, which, at it's inception might have actually indicated a laughing of the "out-loud" nature, but now been watered down to a meaningless, hololow phrase. (haha!) other acronymic laughter substitutions include "lmao," "lmfao," "rotfl," and "rotfllmao." each is more ridiculous than the last.

also as long as i have been on aim, the "hehe" has been reserved for flirty conversations. that's it. never has the following conversation been appropriate:

"hindawg1010: knock knock
ramishers: who's there
hindawg1010: banana
ramishers: banana, who?
hindawg1010: knock knock
ramishers: who's there
hindawg1010: banana
ramishers: banana, who?
hindawg1010: knock knock
ramishers: who's there
hindawg1010: orange
ramishers: wtf!? orange, who?
hindawg1010: orange you glad i didnt say banana?
ramishers: hehe"

aside from the joke, which is great, how awkward does the "hehe" look there? i shudder when i read that. most definitely not a "hehe" situation. a more appropriate, actually, the only appropriate response would have been "haha" (or "hahahaha" because of the severity of the hilarity).

an appropriate "hehe" situation is as follows:
"hindawg1010: i think youre cute
ramishers: hehe =)"

see? is my point clear? good.

additionally, the "haha" is quite versatile. for example, you could say "aaaaahahahaha," to emphasize how funny you think your aim buddys comment is (or to indicate that you were about to sneeze, but decided to laugh instead).

imagine doing a "eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehehehe." what the hell is that? is there a roller coaster in your room? are you a witch? no? didnt think so.

so as i have proven above with very little and questionable data, "haha" is the the appropriate laugh for all chatting situations, except flirty situations, where only "hehe" can work.

good night.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

...and on a lighter note

Ever since human kind began to poop, there has been divisive debate over the proper method for the dispensing of wiping implements.

In the beginning, when humans used the woods as their bathroom, trees and bushes made the perfect dispensers. There would always be a plentiful supply of leaves within close reach with which to clean oneself. The only choice that needed to be made was deciding upon a comfortable spot to defecate. As civilization progressed, however, more choices needed to be made and, unfortunately, these decisions became more difficult.

With the rise of the Ancient Greek and Roman civilizations came the introduction of indoor plumbing. For the first time ever, people did not have to run out in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. This new system, I assume, also prompted the invention of toilet paper. After all, you cannot have unlimited trees in your bathroom. But, I digress.

There are a number of different ways to dispense toilet paper: there is the from-the-side, vertical method, which is most often employed with paper towels in the kitchen. There are also two horizontal methods, over the top and from the bottom. We will explore together, in detail which of these orientations is best suited to deliver TP to your hands.

The from-the-side-kitchen-paper-towel method is named the “kitchen-paper-towel” method for precisely that reason. It is best suited for precision distribution of large, absorbent paper towels in the kitchen setting, where the user will be in a standing position and, most likely, cooking. This vertical orientation best allows for the instant “quick rip” action, needed to grab a single sheet while moving about. However, one is not interested in the “quick rip” while in the bathroom. The collection and obtainment of toilet paper is a fragile, sacred process and, thereby, must be accompanied by an appropriately delicate dispensing method.

One of the two more prominent configurations is the under-the-bottom delivery. Practiced by many devout followers across the world, the tradition of pulling TP from the bottom of the roll is popular, indeed.

Believers in this method argue that it is the best for a number of reasons. First, they say, it is easier to pull large amounts of paper from the roll very quickly. I counter with this: why would you want to use large amounts of toilet paper? It is not comfortable, and it is bad for the environment.

Another argument presented by bottom-lovers is that pulling upward from the bottom provides a cleaner, more accurate rip. False again. In my experience, and from my extensive interviewing on the subject, the ripping up motion, as dictated by bottom-dispensed toilet paper, is notoriously difficult and extremely inaccurate, often resulting in the embarrassing “mid-sheet-rip” or the even worse “no-rip-but-lots-of-extra-toilet-paper” situations.

I have clearly shown why pulling toilet paper from the bottom is stupid. Let us now explore why dispensing TP over the top is the optimal, and only, way to go.

First, with one swift, swiping motion, you can dispense the perfect amount of toilet paper every time. How, you ask? Well, it has to do with physics. When the roll is new and heavy, your swipe will result in slower rotation of the roll. However, with each rotation, comes more toilet paper; the circumference of the roll is equal to 2πr, so when r is larger, more paper comes with each turn. As the roll gets used up, r and the weight decrease. As a result, the tube spins faster, but less paper is given off with each roll, thereby dispensing the same amount as when the roll was full. Perfect every time.

Additionally, the rip needed for over-the-top dispensing, the “side-rip,” is the cleanest, most accurate rip, especially from the sitting position. From copious field testing and interviews this rip has been shown to be the best.

Finally, and probably most importantly, pulling toilet paper over the top is the only method which allows one to make that fancy triangle. If they do it in all of the best hotels and clubs, why not do it at home too?

While other methods for dispensing toilet paper do exist, pulling it over the top is clearly the best.

The side-pull, vertical method is great for kitchen settings, but is not suited for bathroom use. The pull-from-the-bottom, horizontal method is inherently flawed in every aspect. Only over-the-top dispensing allows for an accurate, clean, and pleasant end to a bathroom experience.

Monday, March 26, 2007

An Inconvenient Truth - Check It Out

Here's a review that I wrote for An Inconvenient Truth. It's a great movie that everyone should check out.

Animals drowning, states and countries being covered by water, tropical storms and hurricanes completely wiping out major cities. These sound like signs of the apocalypse. However, can we as a people do something to keep these calamities from occurring? This is the issue that An Inconvenient Truth tries to address. In fact, this movie says that these scenarios are completely avoidable.

An Inconvenient Truth is a documentary addressing the very serious issue of global warming. More specifically, it addresses the human impact on global warming. It shows that global warming is a very real problem and the problem is exasperated by our current emissions of greenhouse gases.

The film should never have been made. As a people, we should have been more aware of this problem, but we were not. As politicians, solutions to this problem should have been devised, but they were not. What are the reasons for our ignorance and failure to act? Former Vice President Al Gore addresses this issue, as well as the overall issue of global warming. This documentary was made so that we as people and politicians are aware of the seriousness of this issue and can act to resolve it.

The human catalysis of global warming is a real threat and is effectively demonstrated through An Inconvenient Truth. Al Gore and Davis Guggenheim, the director of the film, have done this in a very straightforward manner. Their use of skillful data presentation and extraordinary visual images along with a very calm and inviting tone has taken this terrifying issue and made it very approachable.

So what is global warming? Global warming is the rise in average global temperature by the greenhouse effect, which is the trapping of CO2 and other greenhouse gases.
These gases keep heat and sunlight from leaving the earth, resulting in the rise of the global temperature.

In the film, Gore uses a bright red line to show that emission of greenhouse gases have sky rocketed in the past 50 years and that there is no sign of letting up in the next 50. In fact, as the emissions increase every year, the average global temperature will continue to increase at an unprecedented rate. This bright red line produces a menacing and daunting feeling of doom. The image is chilling and all it is a red line. Yet, combined with the issue and the calm voice of Gore, the red line becomes much more. It symbolizes the gravity of the situation. It emphasizes our need to act.

Another aspect that Gore discusses is the dismissal and deception of the issue by the current administration. He acknowledges the administrations failure to raise emission standards, as well as its failure to ratify the Kyoto protocol. Furthermore, he claims that the administration has made it one of its goals to cast doubt on the veracity of the human impact on global warming. He is attacking the administration, saying that we as the voting public are responsible to help make a change in this downward trend.

Finally, one of the most surprising revelations that Gore made was the fact that it is a universal fact among scientists that global warming is worsened by humans. Yet, the media seems to be split on its reports. The public gets a lot of their scientific news from the media, which explains the reason for the general public’s confusion on the issue. The documentary clears up the issue once and for all. Global warming has increased due to humans and we must act to slow it down.

As a means of communication, the film does a good job. It presents the issue as a threatening one, yet as an approachable one. We can do something about it. All we must do is act.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Get Ready To Be Amazed

For all you readers out there, you MAY have noticed that I have only had one post on this blog. I know that it has upset Shyam, but whatever....it's Shyam. I have decided to make my first post something very important to me. This post will be about water.
Are there differences between water. Is my water better than your water? First, let's take a look at the different types of water. There is water from the tap, from a Brita, from a 6 month old Brita, from Deer Park, from Dasani, from Cholera infested rivers, etc. But is any of this water any different from the other. Some may argue that drinking Cholera infested river water is not good, but I disagree. Water is water. That is all I have to say about that. I do not have to defend myself to you.
Now let's talk about spring water. I have been recently informed that they do not really clean spring water. If it says its natural, it has stuff in it. Does anyone know how they can clean it without purifying it? I know I could just look this stuff up on the internet, but I'm spending time writing to you all, so I can't look it up.
Finally, water makes up a large part of your body. I don't know the exact percentage, but I could look it up. We just discussed why I don't look it up, so let's not do it again. I would say that the water in our bodies is very important. Without it, we would die. Therefore, it goes on top of my list of the top ten most important water.

Here is my list:

1. Water in Meet's Body
2. Water in Everyone Else's Body
3. Dasani
4. Polar Ice Caps
5. Indian Ocean
6. Other Oceans
7. Great Lakes, excluding Lake Ontario
8. Cholera Infested Water
9. Lake Ontario
10. Tap Water

You are all now dumber. Thank you and check back for more insightful posts.

Monday, March 19, 2007

100k, but no cookie

everytime i go home, it seems, the cars are overdue for some sort of service. my parents either forget about or ignore the stickers that are plastered everywhere to remind them to make car appointments. therefore, when i was home for spring break, i, just out of habit, checked the mileage on my mom's car. this is what i saw:














now, it's a special time in every young man's life when his beloved car hits 100,000 miles, and i was fortunate enough to be home when my car reached this milestone.

later that night, i went on some unnecessary errands so that i, and i alone, could hit the 100k mark. selfish, i know, but sometimes a guy just wants to say things to his car that nobody else should here. the following sequence of events ensued:

the buildup:



it happens:















and then...















and that's it.

"what?" i thought to myself, "is that really all?" i waited so long for this to happen, and the car just continued on from 99,999 to 100,000 to 100,001 like this was some ordinary event. i was expecting some sort of prize or cookie or at least some noise, like a celebratory ding or something. but no. nothing. i sat there in stunned silence as the moment passed with no pomp or circumstance.

and then i thought about it. for the car to give me a cookie when i reached 100,000 miles in 2007, the factory would have to put the cookie in somehow, somewhere when they made the car. 9 years ago. in japan.

and then i went home for dinner.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

meet's an ass, and i have sick reaction times.

it has come to my attention that, since the inception of this blog, it has beens meets intention to make me look ridiculous. i have not posted in a while because i assumed that this blog was going to be an exchange of intelligent and insightful ideas between me and meet. therefore, after my intelligent and insightful pants article, i was going to wait until meet posted before sharing my next golden nugget of knowledge. it has come to my attention, however, that meets intention was to post one shitty post in between some of my spectacular ones, and then retire permanently. either that, or he lost his internet tubes.

i feel alone.


on another note, it turns out that i have phenomenal reaction times. my results from http://www.iconinteractive.com/clients/react/
are published below:

go take the test and post your results as a reply.

Saturday, March 3, 2007

pants. a review.

Pants are tight.

Not tight in the traditional, restrictive, constricting sense of the word. Pants are tight in the new, hip, loose definition of the word. Like: “Damn, that car is tight,” or “this shit is tight,” where “shit” can refer to pretty much anything.

Most people take pants for granted. They get put on in the morning, taken off at night. They carry phones, pens, wallets, keys, and change around in their pockets. They protect the legs from excessive heat and cold, dust and water, and, sometimes, even mud. All these functions are served without even a second thought from those who wear them.

Additionally, pants serve as an expression of self. If you want to show that you are relaxing, you grab an old pair of jeans, worn in from years of use. Maybe there is a hole in the crotch, maybe not; that depends on what kind of wear you subject your pants to. If you have a meeting, you wear business pants (with business socks, I hope), to show the world that it is business time. You wear work-out pants to work out, snow pants to frolic in the snow, and Capri’s, which are of questionable pants status, to show off your shapely calves. And, if you are unequivocally stylish, you wear tight pants (real tight) to show the world that you are, indeed, unequivocally stylish.

Pants go well with many other types of clothing. T-shirts, sweatshirts, button-down shirts, sweater shirts, polo shirts, and even no shirts work well with pants. Maybe you noticed the general shirt trend; it is generally frowned upon to wear pants with other leg covering garments, although shorts underneath workout-pants is a pretty tight, trendily tight, combination.

In addition to shirts, pants generally look good with a variety of feet coverings, and the proper combination of the two can create a very powerful image. If you wear dress shoes with your jeans, you look relaxed, yet formal, ready to chill, work, or party: whatever the situation calls for. Sneakers also go well with most types of pants. Do not, however, make the mistake of wearing the aforementioned business pants with any type of sneaker. It is not cool, and you will look stupid. Contrary to many schools of thought, flip-flops/sandals go well with pants as well. There is nothing that says “classy” like pants and sandals, unless, of course, you are wearing business pants.

“What is with the business pants,” you might be asking, “why are they so special, and why is their use with feet coverings so restrictive?” This, needless to say, is because they are business pants. Their one function is to dress your legs for all business and formal events. Would you wear a t-shirt to an interview? Of course not, so then why would you want to wear sandals or sneakers to one? This is considered amateurish use of business pants, and people will laugh at you.

Hopefully, people will start to realize the underappreciated versatility of their pants and spread the word.

In the words of my roommate, Fernando, “we’re having a pants party tonight, and you’re invited!”

His pants parties, however, involve no pants at all.

Thursday, March 1, 2007

meet, in general

hindude2020: hahah
hindude2020: ek pyar!
dabreakinballa: ekh byar
dabreakinballa: pyar*
dabreakinballa: b is not even close to p

Welcome 2

So I thought that i should probably welcome you all also...you all consisting of nobody, but anywayz...welcome nobody (shishir's sister?). We plan to say insightful things and change your lives, so pay attention. Keep checking for updates and if you have insightful things to say, say them.

Ekh Pyar!

Meet

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

welcome

welcome to "shoulda got it two days ago," a new blog from meet and me. we decided on it this afternoon after lunch at chipotle, and we coined the name while watching an ad for some shitty movie at one world. look here for musings about everything; we're adequately to moderately intelligent, so it should be interesting. i hope.