bathroom inconsistencies.

as a frequenter of bathrooms, i have come to notice certain inconsistencies that i felt need to be addressed. 

in this modern age of microprocessors (yes, those. i dont know what they are, you dont know what they are, who gives a f***.) and internets tubes, there is no area of our lives left untouched. we now have "clickers" to control our tv's from the couch, machines that cook our food with invisible waves, and cameras that put pictures directly onto your computer. life gets better and easier every single day. 

i went into a public restroom some time ago, and i noticed that the toilet flushed itself. at first, i was startled by the lack of flush-lever, and then by the abrupt, unprovoked flushing. upon closer inspection, i noticed a red eye watching, blinking. apparently they put those tv elves to work someplace else. excellent. i went and washed and dried my hands and got on with life. 

sometime later, i went into a different bathroom (yes, i know, i go to alot of bathrooms). this time, the sink had a little red eye too! not knowing how to get the water running, i tried to wave to the elves and get their attention. like magic, the water started flowing. amazing!

i started getting used to the idea of the magical bathroom. how could life get any better than this? how wrong i was. in yet another bathroom, i came across an automatic paper towel machine. im telling you, aside from the obvious final automation that need not be mentioned nor implemented, public restrooms were at the peak. they were not going to get any better than this. 

eventually, i expected to see this trifecta of perfecta in every bathroom i went to. flush, wash, dry was fast becoming a seamless, clean process. and then it all went black.

well, not really black. or any other color. it just got frustrating, to put it as awkwardly and as badly english as possible. i began to notice that certain establishments would only invest in one or two of these magic machines, leaving the third to be operated by manual labor. 

what's the point of automating the flush, or the hand wash, only to have to touch the same lever as the guy who just peed on his hands to get a paper towel?

i'll leave you with that.