...and on a lighter note

Ever since human kind began to poop, there has been divisive debate over the proper method for the dispensing of wiping implements.

In the beginning, when humans used the woods as their bathroom, trees and bushes made the perfect dispensers. There would always be a plentiful supply of leaves within close reach with which to clean oneself. The only choice that needed to be made was deciding upon a comfortable spot to defecate. As civilization progressed, however, more choices needed to be made and, unfortunately, these decisions became more difficult.

With the rise of the Ancient Greek and Roman civilizations came the introduction of indoor plumbing. For the first time ever, people did not have to run out in the middle of the night to use the bathroom. This new system, I assume, also prompted the invention of toilet paper. After all, you cannot have unlimited trees in your bathroom. But, I digress.

There are a number of different ways to dispense toilet paper: there is the from-the-side, vertical method, which is most often employed with paper towels in the kitchen. There are also two horizontal methods, over the top and from the bottom. We will explore together, in detail which of these orientations is best suited to deliver TP to your hands.

The from-the-side-kitchen-paper-towel method is named the “kitchen-paper-towel” method for precisely that reason. It is best suited for precision distribution of large, absorbent paper towels in the kitchen setting, where the user will be in a standing position and, most likely, cooking. This vertical orientation best allows for the instant “quick rip” action, needed to grab a single sheet while moving about. However, one is not interested in the “quick rip” while in the bathroom. The collection and obtainment of toilet paper is a fragile, sacred process and, thereby, must be accompanied by an appropriately delicate dispensing method.

One of the two more prominent configurations is the under-the-bottom delivery. Practiced by many devout followers across the world, the tradition of pulling TP from the bottom of the roll is popular, indeed.

Believers in this method argue that it is the best for a number of reasons. First, they say, it is easier to pull large amounts of paper from the roll very quickly. I counter with this: why would you want to use large amounts of toilet paper? It is not comfortable, and it is bad for the environment.

Another argument presented by bottom-lovers is that pulling upward from the bottom provides a cleaner, more accurate rip. False again. In my experience, and from my extensive interviewing on the subject, the ripping up motion, as dictated by bottom-dispensed toilet paper, is notoriously difficult and extremely inaccurate, often resulting in the embarrassing “mid-sheet-rip” or the even worse “no-rip-but-lots-of-extra-toilet-paper” situations.

I have clearly shown why pulling toilet paper from the bottom is stupid. Let us now explore why dispensing TP over the top is the optimal, and only, way to go.

First, with one swift, swiping motion, you can dispense the perfect amount of toilet paper every time. How, you ask? Well, it has to do with physics. When the roll is new and heavy, your swipe will result in slower rotation of the roll. However, with each rotation, comes more toilet paper; the circumference of the roll is equal to 2πr, so when r is larger, more paper comes with each turn. As the roll gets used up, r and the weight decrease. As a result, the tube spins faster, but less paper is given off with each roll, thereby dispensing the same amount as when the roll was full. Perfect every time.

Additionally, the rip needed for over-the-top dispensing, the “side-rip,” is the cleanest, most accurate rip, especially from the sitting position. From copious field testing and interviews this rip has been shown to be the best.

Finally, and probably most importantly, pulling toilet paper over the top is the only method which allows one to make that fancy triangle. If they do it in all of the best hotels and clubs, why not do it at home too?

While other methods for dispensing toilet paper do exist, pulling it over the top is clearly the best.

The side-pull, vertical method is great for kitchen settings, but is not suited for bathroom use. The pull-from-the-bottom, horizontal method is inherently flawed in every aspect. Only over-the-top dispensing allows for an accurate, clean, and pleasant end to a bathroom experience.

An Inconvenient Truth - Check It Out

Here's a review that I wrote for An Inconvenient Truth. It's a great movie that everyone should check out.

Animals drowning, states and countries being covered by water, tropical storms and hurricanes completely wiping out major cities. These sound like signs of the apocalypse. However, can we as a people do something to keep these calamities from occurring? This is the issue that An Inconvenient Truth tries to address. In fact, this movie says that these scenarios are completely avoidable.

An Inconvenient Truth is a documentary addressing the very serious issue of global warming. More specifically, it addresses the human impact on global warming. It shows that global warming is a very real problem and the problem is exasperated by our current emissions of greenhouse gases.

The film should never have been made. As a people, we should have been more aware of this problem, but we were not. As politicians, solutions to this problem should have been devised, but they were not. What are the reasons for our ignorance and failure to act? Former Vice President Al Gore addresses this issue, as well as the overall issue of global warming. This documentary was made so that we as people and politicians are aware of the seriousness of this issue and can act to resolve it.

The human catalysis of global warming is a real threat and is effectively demonstrated through An Inconvenient Truth. Al Gore and Davis Guggenheim, the director of the film, have done this in a very straightforward manner. Their use of skillful data presentation and extraordinary visual images along with a very calm and inviting tone has taken this terrifying issue and made it very approachable.

So what is global warming? Global warming is the rise in average global temperature by the greenhouse effect, which is the trapping of CO₂ and other greenhouse gases.
These gases keep heat and sunlight from leaving the earth, resulting in the rise of the global temperature.

In the film, Gore uses a bright red line to show that emission of greenhouse gases have sky rocketed in the past 50 years and that there is no sign of letting up in the next 50. In fact, as the emissions increase every year, the average global temperature will continue to increase at an unprecedented rate. This bright red line produces a menacing and daunting feeling of doom. The image is chilling and all it is a red line. Yet, combined with the issue and the calm voice of Gore, the red line becomes much more. It symbolizes the gravity of the situation. It emphasizes our need to act.

Another aspect that Gore discusses is the dismissal and deception of the issue by the current administration. He acknowledges the administrations failure to raise emission standards, as well as its failure to ratify the Kyoto protocol. Furthermore, he claims that the administration has made it one of its goals to cast doubt on the veracity of the human impact on global warming. He is attacking the administration, saying that we as the voting public are responsible to help make a change in this downward trend.

Finally, one of the most surprising revelations that Gore made was the fact that it is a universal fact among scientists that global warming is worsened by humans. Yet, the media seems to be split on its reports. The public gets a lot of their scientific news from the media, which explains the reason for the general public’s confusion on the issue. The documentary clears up the issue once and for all. Global warming has increased due to humans and we must act to slow it down.

As a means of communication, the film does a good job. It presents the issue as a threatening one, yet as an approachable one. We can do something about it. All we must do is act.

Get Ready To Be Amazed

For all you readers out there, you MAY have noticed that I have only had one post on this blog. I know that it has upset Shyam, but whatever....it's Shyam. I have decided to make my first post something very important to me. This post will be about water.
Are there differences between water. Is my water better than your water? First, let's take a look at the different types of water. There is water from the tap, from a Brita, from a 6 month old Brita, from Deer Park, from Dasani, from Cholera infested rivers, etc. But is any of this water any different from the other. Some may argue that drinking Cholera infested river water is not good, but I disagree. Water is water. That is all I have to say about that. I do not have to defend myself to you.
Now let's talk about spring water. I have been recently informed that they do not really clean spring water. If it says its natural, it has stuff in it. Does anyone know how they can clean it without purifying it? I know I could just look this stuff up on the internet, but I'm spending time writing to you all, so I can't look it up.
Finally, water makes up a large part of your body. I don't know the exact percentage, but I could look it up. We just discussed why I don't look it up, so let's not do it again. I would say that the water in our bodies is very important. Without it, we would die. Therefore, it goes on top of my list of the top ten most important water.

Here is my list:

1. Water in Meet's Body
2. Water in Everyone Else's Body
3. Dasani
4. Polar Ice Caps
5. Indian Ocean
6. Other Oceans
7. Great Lakes, excluding Lake Ontario
8. Cholera Infested Water
9. Lake Ontario
10. Tap Water

You are all now dumber. Thank you and check back for more insightful posts.

100k, but no cookie

everytime i go home, it seems, the cars are overdue for some sort of service. my parents either forget about or ignore the stickers that are plastered everywhere to remind them to make car appointments. therefore, when i was home for spring break, i, just out of habit, checked the mileage on my mom's car. this is what i saw:














now, it's a special time in every young man's life when his beloved car hits 100,000 miles, and i was fortunate enough to be home when my car reached this milestone.

later that night, i went on some unnecessary errands so that i, and i alone, could hit the 100k mark. selfish, i know, but sometimes a guy just wants to say things to his car that nobody else should here. the following sequence of events ensued:

the buildup:



it happens:















and then...















and that's it.

"what?" i thought to myself, "is that really all?" i waited so long for this to happen, and the car just continued on from 99,999 to 100,000 to 100,001 like this was some ordinary event. i was expecting some sort of prize or cookie or at least some noise, like a celebratory ding or something. but no. nothing. i sat there in stunned silence as the moment passed with no pomp or circumstance.

and then i thought about it. for the car to give me a cookie when i reached 100,000 miles in 2007, the factory would have to put the cookie in somehow, somewhere when they made the car. 9 years ago. in japan.

and then i went home for dinner.

meet's an ass, and i have sick reaction times.

it has come to my attention that, since the inception of this blog, it has beens meets intention to make me look ridiculous. i have not posted in a while because i assumed that this blog was going to be an exchange of intelligent and insightful ideas between me and meet. therefore, after my intelligent and insightful pants article, i was going to wait until meet posted before sharing my next golden nugget of knowledge. it has come to my attention, however, that meets intention was to post one shitty post in between some of my spectacular ones, and then retire permanently. either that, or he lost his internet tubes.

i feel alone.


on another note, it turns out that i have phenomenal reaction times. my results from http://www.iconinteractive.com/clients/react/
are published below:

go take the test and post your results as a reply.

pants. a review.

Pants are tight.

Not tight in the traditional, restrictive, constricting sense of the word. Pants are tight in the new, hip, loose definition of the word. Like: “Damn, that car is tight,” or “this shit is tight,” where “shit” can refer to pretty much anything.

Most people take pants for granted. They get put on in the morning, taken off at night. They carry phones, pens, wallets, keys, and change around in their pockets. They protect the legs from excessive heat and cold, dust and water, and, sometimes, even mud. All these functions are served without even a second thought from those who wear them.

Additionally, pants serve as an expression of self. If you want to show that you are relaxing, you grab an old pair of jeans, worn in from years of use. Maybe there is a hole in the crotch, maybe not; that depends on what kind of wear you subject your pants to. If you have a meeting, you wear business pants (with business socks, I hope), to show the world that it is business time. You wear work-out pants to work out, snow pants to frolic in the snow, and Capri’s, which are of questionable pants status, to show off your shapely calves. And, if you are unequivocally stylish, you wear tight pants (real tight) to show the world that you are, indeed, unequivocally stylish.

Pants go well with many other types of clothing. T-shirts, sweatshirts, button-down shirts, sweater shirts, polo shirts, and even no shirts work well with pants. Maybe you noticed the general shirt trend; it is generally frowned upon to wear pants with other leg covering garments, although shorts underneath workout-pants is a pretty tight, trendily tight, combination.

In addition to shirts, pants generally look good with a variety of feet coverings, and the proper combination of the two can create a very powerful image. If you wear dress shoes with your jeans, you look relaxed, yet formal, ready to chill, work, or party: whatever the situation calls for. Sneakers also go well with most types of pants. Do not, however, make the mistake of wearing the aforementioned business pants with any type of sneaker. It is not cool, and you will look stupid. Contrary to many schools of thought, flip-flops/sandals go well with pants as well. There is nothing that says “classy” like pants and sandals, unless, of course, you are wearing business pants.

“What is with the business pants,” you might be asking, “why are they so special, and why is their use with feet coverings so restrictive?” This, needless to say, is because they are business pants. Their one function is to dress your legs for all business and formal events. Would you wear a t-shirt to an interview? Of course not, so then why would you want to wear sandals or sneakers to one? This is considered amateurish use of business pants, and people will laugh at you.

Hopefully, people will start to realize the underappreciated versatility of their pants and spread the word.

In the words of my roommate, Fernando, “we’re having a pants party tonight, and you’re invited!”

His pants parties, however, involve no pants at all.

meet, in general

hindude2020: hahah
hindude2020: ek pyar!
dabreakinballa: ekh byar
dabreakinballa: pyar*
dabreakinballa: b is not even close to p

Welcome 2

So I thought that i should probably welcome you all also...you all consisting of nobody, but anywayz...welcome nobody (shishir's sister?). We plan to say insightful things and change your lives, so pay attention. Keep checking for updates and if you have insightful things to say, say them.

Ekh Pyar!

Meet